She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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