Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
