ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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