and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just found a bag of teeth...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Randomize
