You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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