Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize