I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
