If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
