Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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