I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize