Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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