I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
