My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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