He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
