Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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