Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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