After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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