HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize