all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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