Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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