i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Bring me that man meat
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
