ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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