Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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