He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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