I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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