He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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