Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
