My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
