I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
