No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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