my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
