I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
