Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
