Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
