VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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