I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
