Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
