there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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