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So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
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