someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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