honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
