drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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