Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You can't special order awesome
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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