haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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