If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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