I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
