I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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