Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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