I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
