HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize