Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
