Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
