yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
