4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
