i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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