let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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