Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
