are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
