I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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