Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
