I didn't shave. On purpose
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the condom got lost in my hair
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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