and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
