morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
