I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
